Four of my siblings and my self were all sexually abused by my biological father on multiple occasions when we were very young, toddlers and grade school age. I was molested on a daily or weekly basis whereas my siblings were abused more infrequently, either weekly or monthly. Each of us reacted to our childhood sexual abuses in different ways upon reaching adulthood.
The oldest sibling turned to Alcohol and Drugs in the young teenage years. She has forgotten and repressed any and all memories of dad's sexual encounters, yet she fully supports and believes whenever I talk about it. She has continued to be involved with alcohol and drugs since those high school days. I give her credit as she has had a couple of long-term relationships that appear healthy from my long distance, outsiders point of view. Even while self-medicating with Substance Abuses, she has been able to work and maintain a family.
The brother older than I, who was harmed the least of the oldest three, because the oldest two were programmed and trained to meet most of dad's pedophiliac needs and disturbed wants, was as an onlooker. He and dad reached some sort of understanding early on that allowed him to escape the more horrendous acts. Dad mostly forced him to be an observer so he would feel guilty, full of sin, and complicit. It worked. He, too, became heavily involved in drugs in his high school years. His saving grace was moving away to go to college, getting an education and becoming successful in his occupation. Thus, he is aware of the incest yet maintains a distance taking neither my side nor dad's publicly. He wants nothing to do with me lest I inadvertently force him to admit all that he saw and experienced. His tool to deal with the incest is Avoidance and Denial.
The next youngest sister who sadly shared some of the same "sold into childhood prostitution" at a few of dad's money-making parties, did not have to contend with weekly molestations. In that respect, I am grateful. She could verify my accusations because of the parties and the fact that we shared a bed and midnight whispers for many years. Her way of dealing was to take it in stride, not let it bog her down; just "let's not say anything about it" outside of her and I. Her way of dealing was To Let It Go. It did not affect her life on a grand scale; it was more a blip on her radar. And yes, if any type of Incest can be described as "minimally invasive", hers was. More power to her.
The youngest sibling that I know was sexually abused [because I either witnessed it, was a participant or they confided in me] turned into a controlling Anorexic. Their molestations were very infrequent as dad had me as his primary sexual victim. In a sense, They worked hard to be dad's favorite, kind of like a caretaker, second non-sexual wife. It was weird to watch the dichotomy of this man having children that met his varying needs in the most unhealthy of ways. This sibling's strategy was to love him, cook his favorite meals, make his lunches and rub his back when he got home from work. Endearing herself to him with her undying love and devotion worked for her.
Five Siblings. Five different reactions.
How a man can utilize his very own children to meet all of his adult needs and perversions is beyond the pale.
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